By Jim
Most people, especially today. find they have a need for down time. To me masturbation is a part of that personal down time. If possible, when I'm in the house alone, I will undress and just enjoy walking around the house nude. I'll usually put on some acoustical music and close my eyes and imagine how my orgasm will be. I decide how I will make love to myself.
Usually I'll become erect thinking about what I want to do to myself. Once I'm erect I'll open my eyes and look at my penis but not touch it. By not touching myself right away, I soon find the strong urge to do so. Eventually I'll find the urge too strong and began to pull the foreskin up and down, but doing so quite slowly. Once the sexual tingle begins, I try different ways of touching myself. If I become aroused quickly, I will try to just slightly rub the back of my penis with just my index finger. This usually just teases me and holds my arousal at a certain point which causes my sexual instinct to apply more friction, which I fight not to do.
Eventually, I'll let my instinct override my desire to hold back and began to stroke with all fingers and thumb. When I reach a certain point, I'll see a drop of pre-cum ooze out the slit and for some reason this intensifies my sexual feelings. The pre-cum makes me think of my orgasm and for some reason I enjoy immensely watching myself ejaculate. Sometimes at this point I am so turned on that I will scoop up the drop of pre-cum and lick it off my finger.
It usually won't be long until I can hold back no longer but I try as hard as I can to not reach the point of no return. Barely touching myself will send shivers of ecstasy throughout my body and the desire to let myself go increases greatly, but I hold back knowing that the longer I put off orgasm, the larger the volume of cum I will ejaculate and thus the longer I can watch it spurt from my penis.
FIRST ATTEMPTS
I was about 11 and was taking a bath, washing my private area with a washcloth and got an erection. At this point, erections were uncomfortable and a just a pain. I'd been having them since about 7-8 years old. I noticed that rubbing the washcloth over the head of my penis felt kind of good, but before long the intensity got stronger and I got a little afraid that I was doing some damage to myself and quit.
It was a couple of years later that I actually had my first orgasm. I feel kind of weird about it but my oldest sister masturbated me.
My first experience was kind of innocent. I had gotten stung by a bee that had crawled up my summer shorts. My oldest sister was the only other person at home at the time and she knew how to take care of it. I had to pull my shorts down so she could get the stinger out and put a poultice on the sting. The shorts had built in briefs, so she saw my penis, which was embarrassing. She was about 18-19 though and I trusted her to not make fun of me, which she didn't do. After she held the poultice to the sting for a while, I became erect, which really embarrassed me. I apologized to her and told her I didn't understand why my penis did that.
She told me it was ok, and asked me if it didn't get hard when I masturbated. I had never heard the word before and told her I didn't know what it meant. She said, you know, when you rub your penis to make it feel really good. I told her I had never done that before. She was kind of surprised and she said that if I did, it would probably make me forget about my bee sting. I told her I didn't know how to do it so she told me she would do it for me so that I'd know how to do it and that it would make me forget about the bee sting. I was curious as to what she was talking about and again, I trusted her so I said OK. She began to pull my foreskin up and down my shaft, slowly at first and asked me if that felt good. Her warm hand did feel good but I really didn't feel anything else at first.
My erection got harder and I didn't understand why. In a few minutes I could start to feel a little tingle and the tingle felt kind of good. As the tingle became more intense, I remembered the time I had rubbed the washcloth over the head of my penis and I kind of panicked. She reassured me that that was the way it was supposed to feel.
"THAT'S THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO FEEL"
As it got stronger, I felt like I had to pee and told her so, but she said that was also the way it was supposed to feel but that I wouldn't pee. After several more minutes of her stroking, the tingling got quite stronger and in a way I wanted her to stop but was afraid I would hurt her feelings so I let her continue. Before too long I began to squirm around and pull away from her. She stopped but held onto my penis. I was amazed, but found myself thrusting into her hand not understanding why I wanted more friction when I was scared at the same time.
She held her hand still and I found myself thrusting into it a couple more times, each time sending shivers throughout my whole body. The feelings were so strong that they scared me and yet I wanted more. I was breathing heavily and she still held still so I instinctively grabbed her hand and moved it up and down until she began again. Within seconds I felt like I was going to pass out and then I felt the explosion and looked down to see an almost clear liquid spurt from my penis. It spurted a couple of times and I slumped back on the bed.
Although I ejaculated, it was more clear than white and not a lot of volume. I had no idea about ejaculation until I actually did it. My first reaction was pure panic. I thought I'd really screwed something up but my sister explained to me what it was.
I felt really guilty after that but she assured me that it was Ok and not to be ashamed about it, but that I should be discreet because a lot of people wouldn't understand. She said that no one would ever know and after that we never spoke of it again. It did however help ease the pain of the bee sting.
The first time I ejaculated was the first time I experienced an orgasm. After that I really enjoyed watching myself ejaculate. I don't remember ever having an orgasm that I didn't ejaculate.
My first orgasm was kind of scary, but it was only a couple of days before I wanted it again. At first I was confused, I had never felt anything so pleasurably intense and at the same time still felt apprehensive about it. But within a few days I masturbated on my own and have been doing so pretty much ever since.
Early on I would do it while taking a bath so as to not attract attention. During warm weather I would go out into the woods where for some reason it seemed more 'sexy' although at the time I wasn't sure what sexy really meant. Once I masturbated under a blanket while my sisters and I were watching a movie and found this to be exciting because they had know idea what I was doing.
"I MASTURBATED 5, MAYBE 6 TIMES A WEEK."
Luckily I was the only boy in my family so I had my own room and it was a family rule to respect our individual privacy. Even my parents knocked on my door before they came into the room. So I had both place and time to explore and usually made time to enjoy it. Sometimes I also found it exciting to masturbate in other areas of the house and outdoors when no one was around.
I usually masturbated in the nude but sometimes did just pull my penis out or pull my pants down to my knees.
Once I got into it and the hormones started raging, I masturbated about 5 maybe 6 times a week. Usually I masturbated on my bed or when the folks were gone I'd go into their room and masturbate in front of their full length mirror. Sometimes I'd go out to the barn (we lived on a small farm) or down at the irrigation pond. After a couple of years I wasn't in such a hurry to reach orgasm and enjoyed prolonging the experience, usually by just pulling the foreskin up and down.
I could pretty much do it when I wanted to, although having farm chores to do and school took my mind off of it sometimes.
"SHE SUGGESTED WE SHOW EACH OTHER WHAT WE HAD."
My little sister's friend came over once to visit her but she was out shopping with my mom. I was in the barn doing chores when she came in. I was about 16 or 17 and she was about 15. I had known her for years and always suspected she had a crush on me. She started throwing loose hay at me and then ran up the ladder to the hay loft and I went after her. We wrestled around in the hay. Every once in a while I brushed my hand across her breast even though I thought it inappropriate. She didn't seem to mind and actually tried to initiate it. I couldn't help but get aroused and she saw the bulge in my pants. She suggested we show each other what we had. I was kind of leery about it because I knew that I'd really catch hell if we were caught, but my hormones won out. We pulled down our pants and we mutually masturbated each other.
I was kind of nervous for several reasons. The main one being she was my sister's friend and she might tell my sister and of course my sister would run right to my parents. I wanted to play around though because she was pretty although up to that time I had never really thought about her in a sexual way. I did agree though because I knew she had somewhat of a crush on me and all I thought we'd do would be to look at each other. I seriously doubted she had ever done anything with a guy and I hadn't had too much experience with girls.
We stood facing each other and although she was the one to initiate the 'show me and I'll show you', I could tell she was nervous. I was about a year and a half older than her and I got the impressions she thought I'd know how to go about it, which I really didn't. I pulled her close to me and she just gazed up at me with those blue eyes that I can easily remember after all these years.
I wanted to act like I knew what I was doing so I began to unbuckle her belt and then fumbled unzipping her zipper. She didn't do anything to help me or to hinder me, she just continued gazing into my eyes. I realized that girls have hips and that I would have to pull her jeans down past them to get them down.
When they fell to the floor, she put her arms around my neck and kicked her jeans off the rest of the way. I had my arms around her waist but didn't try to remove her panties. She had her head on my shoulder and the smell of her hair and soft clean skin almost overpowered me. Not just in a sexual way but just in the power of her femininity and it's closeness to me.
"SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME AGAIN AND ASKED ME TO UNSNAP HER BRA."
After awhile she dropped her arms from around my neck and began to undo my pants. Naturally, when she went to unzip my pants, her fingers brushed my penis. I wasn't erect, but not quite limp either. It did send a tingle throughout my body. Having no hips, my pants slid easily to the floor of the hayloft. We continued to face each other and just look into each other's eyes not saying a word. I don't think either one of us knew what to do next but I felt I had to play the part of the experienced male, so I slowly began to pull her panties down while keeping my eyes at hers. She stepped out of her panties and pulled my underwear down and I stepped out of them as well. Neither one of us looked down.
I had never seen a woman's private area although I had a pretty good idea of what it must look like, at least the bush. We both had pullover shirts on so we helped each other take them off. She had a bra on and she put her arms around me again and asked me to unsnap her bra. Thankfully us kids had to take turns doing laundry and I knew what bra straps looked like and how they worked. She slid out of the bra and put her arms back around me. Her nipples were hard and cool, but when she pressed her breast against me, I felt the warmth of her body. My penis was touching her soft stomach and I soon became hard. She noticed also and stood back and looked kind of surprised and said something like how big I was. Well, you tell that to any 17 year old kid and you've got a real struttin' rooster on your hands!
"I KIND OF GIGGLED TO MYSELF AND SHOWED HER HOW TO STROKE ME."
She suggested we spread our clothes out on the hay and lay down. We did so facing each other with our heads propped up by one arm. She looked down at me so I looked down at her. She had strawberry blond hair but her bush was a darker red than her hair. Seeing her soft, youthful feminine shape filled me with delight. The roundness and smoothness of her hips turned me on more than I could imagine. And her breasts were enough to melt the heart of any young man. I didn't want to take my eyes off her. As I was admiring her nakedness, she looked up at me and asked me if she could touch "it". I wasn't sure what to do as I would have loved to have her stroke me, but she had said "show me and I'll..." and the thought of her being my sister's best friend confused me. But my blood was running warm and I said OK.
She wrapped all her fingers around me towards the base and squeezed a couple of times. I guess that was the farm girl in her, she was milking me like a cow. I kind of giggled to myself and showed her how to stroke me. She was awkward at first but didn't take long to catch on. She had her head down watching what she was doing and I cold smell her hair again real well and that and the warmth and stimulation of her hand began to heat me up. I wanted to reciprocate the sexual feelings she was creating in me. I let her bring me higher though until I could feel that warm, wet feeling deep inside of me. I then stopped her hand and gently pushed her hip back indicating to her to lay back. She did so and even spread her legs slightly although from my vantage point, I didn't see anything other than her bush. I started to just stroke her inner thigh and slowly worked my hand up towards her pussy. I had never gotten this far with a girl and I hoped like hell I knew what I was doing. I had no idea how to touch a girl in a way that would create pleasure for her, but I sure wanted to find out. As I moved up her thigh she began to spread her legs wider. I wanted to get down where I could see but didn't want to be too obvious about it. I had seen a playboy magazine a buddy had one time, but back then they only showed the breast, which left more than one teenaged boy to wonder.
She spread wide and I could no longer hold back from getting a look at what I was dealing with. I slid down some and and started to stoke her bush and slowly worked my way down to her crack. I worked my index finger lightly over and down until I felt wet pubic hair. I didn't know at that time about vaginal secretions so it puzzled me at first. I worked my finger a little deeper and slipped in between her outer lips. I couldn't believe how wet it was or how smooth it made my finger slide. I knew it wasn't pee and it kind of made sense for lubrication purposes. I never tried to enter her with my fingers although I could tell by touch where her vaginal opening was. I felt the bump at the top of her crack but had no idea what it was although when I slid my finger across it, she would shudder and moan a little. She asked me to go faster, so I did. Soon she began squirming and I remember thinking how neat it was that she was responded much like I did when I got close and wondering if girls had orgasms like guys did. Just touching her down there was really getting me turned on even though there was no direct stimulation of my penis.
"I REMEMBER VERY WELL HOW MUCH HER SCENT MOVED ME."
We both started breathing pretty heavy and she grabbed my finger and indicated to me that she wanted more pressure. I didn't want to hurt her but she seemed to want more pressure, so I did as she indicated. She began to moan with every breath and this just drove me higher. I was amazed at how excited I was getting just by the sound of her moans. She seemed to start to bear down and said "I'm getting there" through her teeth. I too was at the point where orgasm was imminent. She tried to reach for my penis but I was too far down so I raised myself up to her level. She grabbed me and spasmodically stroked me as she went into her orgasm. Her contorted face and gyrations of her hips soon threw me into orgasm as well. I ejaculated onto her stomach and then we both just collapsed in each others' arms. We lay there for a while just catching our breaths. After a minute or two, I got my handkerchief out of my pants and handed it to her so she could clean up. She told me she had never seen semen before and how neat it was thinking that there were thousands of little sperm cells swimming around in it. After she cleaned herself off we got dressed. Neither one of us could think of what to say to each other at first. She finally thanked me for not penetrating her as she was still a virgin and she wanted to stay that way. She asked me not to tell anyone about this and she was afraid I might tell my buddies. I pulled her close to me and looked her in the eyes and promised her that no one would ever know what took place between us and then she left for home.
I remember very well how much her scent moved me. I like women who wear good smelling perfume, but the smell of a woman without perfume is in a way even more exciting as it seems to stir in me a deeper sense of the differences between our sexes. I remember not washing my hands that day and smelling her womanhood and how it made me feel.
We lived in a rural area and I think most guys were too embarrassed to talk about masturbation. I think we all knew we did it but never brought it up that I remember. We did talk about whether we'd got to first or second base with dates, but not about masturbation. Later I did talk with some girlfriends about it.
Once I was up in the hay loft having just started to masturbate when one of my older sisters and a friend of hers came into the barn. I froze instantly with my penis going limp in my fingers. They began to talk about their boyfriends and my sister's friend told my sister that she had given her boyfriend her first blowjob the night before. As she was talking about it I got really turned on and began to masturbate again. She seemed to have enjoyed the experience and my sister asked if she had let him 'shoot' in her mouth. I had never really thought about a girl giving me a blowjob but the thought of it sent me right over the edge and it felt like I had ejaculated a gallon of cum!
I really didn't have much access to pictures but a guy I went to school with got some pretty explicit pictures of women masturbating and I got off on that.
I would sometimes fantasize about different women, mostly movie stars that were doing the stroking instead of me. I had an English teacher in high school who was a real knock out with a terrific figure and sometimes while I masturbated, I would fantasize that it was she who was stroking my penis.
"I COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW EXCITED I WAS GETTING
WITHOUT ANY PHYSICAL STIMULATION [...]"
We had an irrigation pond on the farm that we'd go swimming in during the summer. When we were younger, we used to go skinny dipping but as we all started to develop we stopped swimming in the nude. I was helping a neighbor bail hay and we got the last of it up in his barn early in the afternoon. On my way home I decided to jump in the pond to cool off and get the hay chaff off of me. Around the pond was tall canary grass and some trees so you couldn't really see the pond as you approached it. As I got close I could hear someone splashing around so I decided to sneak through the grass hoping I might catch one of my sisters swimming in the nude.
Sure as heck, the sister that was just above me in age was swimming naked. I just sat and watched her for a while. She finally got out and lay down on a blanket she had brought with her. At first she lay on her stomach which was somewhat disappointing, as I couldn't see a heck of a lot. Pretty soon though she put her hand down underneath her and in between her legs and began to slowly hump her hand. I had no idea how girls masturbated and that looked kind of weird and yet it sure got the blood flowing between my legs.
She started to hump faster and then flipped over on her back and began to rub her clitoris in fast motion. I could hear her moaning and then I saw her stick her finger inside of herself and go in and out a couple of times and then back to her clit. I couldn't believe how excited I was getting without any physical stimulation and then I saw her arch her back and I began to rub myself through my jeans. She seemed to come hard as her moans were clipped and short and I came almost instantly. We both just kind of went limp and after a while she got up and jumped back into the pond. I waited until she left as I was afraid she would hear me rustle around in the grass. After she left I took off my pants and cum soaked underwear and jumped in the pond myself.
I do remember feeling kind of bad about spying on her and was somewhat ashamed of getting so turned on by my own sister but to this day I still get turned on watching women masturbate. I think a lot of it has to do with the incomplete sex education we had back then. About the only thing I remember about what little we did learn in health class was that girls don't masturbate only teenage guys do and then they quit when they get older. So seeing a girl in the act of self pleasuring is exciting.
When I was in my teens, I really didn't try to set any records on how long I could masturbate. That happened in my twenties. But would pretty much always try to make it last. At this age, my record was 3 times in one day, all with ejaculation. Ejaculation happened with such force that it often landed on my upper chest.
Sometimes I'd get really horny for something feminine and would wait until one of my sisters would take a shower and would sneak into their room while they were in the shower and find their panties. Usually they were still warm and sometimes a little wet and I'd smell the crotch area and get really hot and use them to masturbate with.
Us kids' bedrooms were upstairs and the attic ran along the sides of the rooms. Each bedroom had a small door to access the attic space. I had an old armchair and foot stool in my room and sometimes I liked to masturbate sitting in the chair with my feet up on the foot stool. One time I was going at it and getting pretty aroused when I heard a noise in the attic. The chair wasn't that far from the little access door, so I heard it pretty easily. I pretty much knew right away what was up as I had tried to spy on my sisters by going into the attic from my room and going down to their access door and try getting a peek. I never could see anything but sometimes would sit and listen to their conversation. My access door on the other hand had a hole in it where a latch had once been. I knew it had to be my younger sister as the rest of them were out for the evening. At first I wanted to stop and throw something over me but I was aroused enough that the thought of stopping wasn't very pleasant and the thought of being watched was exciting somehow. It didn't take me long to reach orgasm and I had a towel all ready to clean up with. I got up and moved away from her line of vision and put my bathrobe on and quickly yanked open the access door. Sure as heck, she was kneeling there and I grabbed her by an arm and pulled her out into my bedroom. Boy, was she embarrassed! She apologized profusely and I told her never to spy on anybody again. I asked her if she knew what I was doing and why I was doing it and she said yes and even admitted she did it 'once in a while' herself. She just wanted to see how guys did it.
"IN A WAY I BECAME MY OWN LOVER WHEN I MASTURBATED."
I remember the first time I tried a lubricant. I got a little cooking oil and went up to my room. With the oil, my strokes could be very light, but the urge to use a tight grip on my penis and to thrust hard into my hand was really great. I came too quickly. So after that I used lubes only occasionally. I still use cooking oil sometimes but not very often.
I didn't take too long to enjoy my solo-sexuality. Youth and plenty of hormones helped greatly in my desire for sexual stimulation and release. In the beginning it was more of a rush to achieve orgasm. By my early-mid twenties, I started enjoying just exploring my sexuality and was more interested in the fact that I knew better than anyone how to please myself sexually. In a way I became my own lover when I masturbated.
I think by my late teens and early twenties did I consider myself truly comfortable with my ability to achieve quality masturbatory skills. By this time I wasn't so inclined to reach sexual release as quickly as possible, but became more aware of the things that felt good and enjoyed the arousal process as much as the orgasm and end result.
Early on I tried several 'records'. I would try to last as long as possible, the record there being over an hour. I also tried cumming as quickly as possible, the record there being 2 minutes. I once tried just to see how many times I could cum in a session and reached 3 orgasms with ejaculation, although my orgasm record was set with my ex-wife of 7 orgasms all with ejaculation. I think the longest I shot was when I had my hips up on a pillow and the first spurt hit my chin.
I feel really good about masturbating, although even in my 40's there's still that twinge of guilt every once in a great while. I think my outlook has changed greatly--from being a raging hormoned teenager to trying to help my ex become comfortable with it to truly enjoying my own personal solo sexuality.
Usually about an hour is just right for a masturbation session for me. There's something about holding off and anticipating the experience that makes it more enjoyable. Once I kept myself aroused all afternoon. I would get myself close to the point of no return and then stop and do something else until the sexual feelings would die down, then repeat the action again and again -- needless to say when I did let myself reach orgasm, it was very, very intense and lasted quite awhile.
Society seems to want gratification 'right now' and they are missing something. Although occasionally I will feel the need to just quickly bring myself to orgasm, not so much for the orgasm as the release of semen.
I'm sure I'll still masturbate when I get old as I've heard both men and women do well into their 80's. I'm not sure how it will change. I do know that being in my 40's has diminished the volume of my semen somewhat and am not sure if this will continue.
I think the most important thing is to care about yourself. Not in a selfish way -- I would never masturbate to the exclusion of my spouse -- but in a way that I own my sexuality and I need to care for it as I need to care for the rest of myself. I do try to do different things and masturbate in different places, but mostly because I enjoy it much like I would try to keep my sex life with my partner alive and fresh.
"THE THOUGHT OF BEING WATCHED IN SUCH AN INTIMATE SITUATION
BEGAN TO TURN ME ON."
About a year after my ex and I were married, we were discussing things that turned us on. I told her that I thought it would be neat to watch her masturbate. She was very uncomfortable about this so I let it drop. Several months later we were having the same kind of talk and she told me that a friend of hers had told her that she liked watching her husband masturbate. After she got home she couldn't seem to get the thought out of her mind and said she felt kind of turned on by the thought of watching me masturbate. I told her that she didn't feel comfortable doing it for me so why would she expect me to do it for her. She suggested that maybe if I did it, she wouldn't feel quite so uncomfortable doing it for me. I was turned on by the prospect of watching her masturbate, so I agreed to do it first.
I pulled back the sheets so she could see but suddenly felt exposed, which felt weird because she was my wife. I was limp and tried to stroke myself, but couldn't get hard and felt rather foolish. She suggested that maybe it would help if I went into the living room and she would watch from dining room with the lights off. I agreed hoping that by not seeing her I could get myself aroused. I laid down on the couch facing away from her but she could easily see me over my shoulder.
I closed my eyes and pretended that I was alone. This seemed to help and I became erect. Although I was erect, I couldn't seem to get really excited. After about 5 minutes, I heard her move in the other room and for some reason the thought of being watched in such an intimate situation began to turn me on. The thought of her being able to see me but I wasn't able to see her added to my arousal. It was a funny feeling. In one aspect I felt totally exposed sexually, and on the other hand I felt the excitement of being exposed - if that makes sense.
"OH HONEY, MAKE YOURSELF CUM FOR ME."
In about ten minutes, I knew that I would reach orgasm pretty soon and suddenly felt a panic having never ejaculated in front of her without her being the cause of my orgasms. I knew that once I passed the point of no return, I would no longer be in control of myself and this somewhat frightened me, but at that point I really didn't want to stop either. I began to squirm around on the couch trying to hold back but it became harder and harder. I tried slowing down but found it very difficult to do. Suddenly I heard her voice right above my head saying. "Oh honey, make yourself cum for me." Her voice was deep and sultry and I knew she was quite excited and that brought me over the edge. She was so turned on that she agreed to masturbate for me and after that every once in awhile we would masturbate for each other. I found this to be a special way of sharing our personal sexuality with each other.
I think it might be exciting to attend a nude party. If I had it my way, it would be a very safe place where no one expected you to do anything you didn't want to do. It would be good to have both males and females there. I think I would enjoy masturbating in front of a woman or women again and feel that 'exposed' feeling and seeing them be turned on by it. I might enjoy masturbating in front of other guys or maybe even finding out what it would be like to masturbate anther guy and what it would be like to be masturbated by anther guy.
"I LIKE THE FACT THAT MY PENIS GIVES ME SO MUCH PLEASURE!"
If someone wanted to masturbate me, first they would have to express to me how much they want to and how much it would please them to do so. They would have to make my penis the total center of their attention. As far as directions, I find I would enjoy seeing where their talents lie. Some women rush masturbation along thinking men want orgasm quickly, but the opposite is true for me.
Several years ago my daughter lent me her video camera to record the contents of my house for insurance purposes and I masturbated in front of it a couple of times. I enjoyed doing it and liked playing it back several days later. I especially enjoyed watching my ejaculation in slow motion.
I would probably have to say that masturbation was the most important several months after my divorce. I naturally went through a period of mourning the loss of my marriage, but after a couple of months the desire to get back in the race started creeping up. I knew that I was more than likely to just be on the rebound and thus didn't want to get into spending a lot of time and money on women that would be just a shallow relationship. I'd pretty much always been in relationships and the idea of just taking a break and getting to know myself and enjoy the freedom and independence that I had recently acquired.
I figured that if I were to truly get to know myself and be comfortable with myself, I would also have to deal with my sexuality. Just because one is single doesn't mean they become less sexual and it dawned on me that I would have to deal with my sexual being as well as other aspects of my life. If I choose to be alone on a Saturday night instead of being out with some woman that I really had no strong interest in, then I had to change the way I dealt with my sexuality. I had pretty much always thought of my sexuality as being completed with a woman, but had to realize that it was now my responsibility. I think this is where I mentally changed my idea of 'jacking off' to 'self pleasuring'. To this day I feel that sharing my sexuality with a good woman is the ultimate and masturbation comes in a distant second, but know that I can also care enough for my self that I can 'make love' to myself as well.
I like the fact that my penis gives me so much pleasure! I've never really looked at other guys so I don't have much to compare with. I do like how when I'm getting close to orgasm, the slit seems to open up a little.
I remember one time, when I was married, my wife had borrowed a book from a friend which had some explicit stories of couples doing different things. When I got home one night, she seemed petty turned on and later that night she told me she wanted to try something new which she usually didn't do. I asked her what it was and she was kind of embarrassed so she gave me the book and had me read a particular story. The story was about a man and a woman who were watching each other masturbate. When the guy got close to orgasm, he raised his hips up over his head and came in his mouth. I thought that part of the story was pretty weird, even for me so I asked her if she wanted to watch each other masturbate. She said yes, and that she wanted to watch me cum in my mouth. I was somewhat hesitant about this, but she seemed so turned onto the idea that I agreed.
Unfortunately because of a back injury, I wasn't able to get in position. But for the next few days I'd think about what it would be like and for some reason I'd get turned on. While my wife was out shopping, I began to masturbate, fantasizing about cumming in my mouth which produced a pretty good orgasm.
My wife told me once that before we were married, a neighbor lady friend of hers suggested they have sex. I don't know why most guys think watching two women together is a turn on, but I'm no exception. I asked her she did, but she said she didn't. She told me though that she had thought about it and it was kind of a turn on for her. I couldn't get the thought of that out of my mind and ended up masturbating and fantasizing that I was masturbating watching her with this other woman.
"I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE OT BE MASTURBATED AND TO MASTURBATE ANOTHER GUY."
The past few years when I masturbate, I'm usually into my feelings rather than thinking about something or fantasizing. I do remember reading a story about a threesome and being turned on by this guy's account of the other guy masturbating him. Like most heterosexual people, I've thought about what it would be like to be masturbated and to masturbate another guy and so I fantasized about it while I masturbated. Once in a while I'll fantasize that several women have asked me to masturbate for them.
Initially, masturbation for me was mostly a response to teenage hormones running wild. In the past few years it has helped me to be able to enjoy my sexuality and realize that I can be comfortable with it with or without a woman.
EPILOG
A little follow up on my sister's friend that I had my first mutual guy/girl masturbation with. We never did anything like that again and she seemed to get over her crush on me although whenever we saw each other, there was a mutual understanding without any words spoken. I saw her about 8 years ago when I took my family back to the farm for Thanksgiving. She had come back home as well to visit her folks for the holiday. I was out in the barn by myself just walking down memory lane, not even thinking about that particular experience, but of all the animals I had taken care of and groomed for 4H club events.
As I was coming out of the barn I saw her coming across the field from her folks' place and she came up and we talked awhile about our lives and such. She grabbed my hand and led me back into the barn and she asked me if I "remembered." I was kind of embarrassed but said yes. She gave me a hug and thanked me for that wonderful memory. I thanked her too and that was all that was ever mentioned by either of us.
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